Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
