we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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