The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
