i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
