the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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