she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
