Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
