do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Randomize
