do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
