Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
