i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
