Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
