Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
