That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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