im about as happy as oj after his trial
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
