Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
where am i from again
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
