tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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