shes about as inviting as chlamydia
please come you make the beer taste better
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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