Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
