he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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