You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
