Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
