Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm always down for nudity.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
