Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
