Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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