PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
