the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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