He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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