Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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