The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
