if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
