who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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