the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
