so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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