Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
