I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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