matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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