I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
