So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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