I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
