Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
