DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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