dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she smelled like a LAN party
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
