Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
