I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
