there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
