Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
