Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
