Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
