I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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