In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
